How to Talk to Your Kids About Kindness: Creating Everyday Moments of Connection

How to Talk to Your Kids About Kindness: Creating Everyday Moments of Connection

Kindness is one of the very first values we try to teach our children—but when real-life situations challenge that ideal, explaining it in a way they understand (and feel motivated by) can be tricky. Kids encounter countless social moments each day where kindness can either shine or be forgotten—at school, among siblings, or even at the grocery store.

At 20 Moments of Tooth, we believe that values like kindness are best taught not in big speeches, but in small, meaningful moments—like the night the Tooth Fairy visits. Those magical windows of connection are the perfect time to open the door to deeper conversations.

WHAT DOES KINDNESS REALLY MEAN (TO A CHILD)?

Kindness isn’t just about being "nice." It’s about being considerate, thoughtful, and willing to help others—even when it’s not the easiest thing to do.

For younger children (ages 4–6), kindness might look like sharing a toy or saying "thank you."

For kids ages 7–9, it could be helping a friend who fell down or letting a sibling go first.

By ages 10–12, kindness can take the form of sticking up for someone being excluded or taking the time to truly listen to someone who’s had a hard day.

It grows with them. And our role as parents is to help them name it, notice it, and feel proud of it.

COMMON SITUATIONS WHERE KINDNESS COMES UP

  • At School: When a classmate is having a tough day, when someone is being picked on, or when working in group projects.

  • At Home: When younger siblings want to join in, when parents need help with chores, or during conflicts.

  • In Social Settings: Birthday parties, sports games, and community events all present real-life opportunities to model and reinforce kindness.

CONVERSATION STARTERS FOR PARENTS

Sometimes the best conversations start with a simple question at the right time. Try using moments like brushing teeth or tucking in at night to ask:

  • “How did you show kindness today?”

  • “Has anyone been kind to you lately? How did that feel?”

  • “Was there a time today when it was hard to be kind?”

These questions spark reflection and show your child that kindness isn’t just something we expect—it’s something we notice and celebrate.

MAKE KINDNESS A TRADITION (ONE TOOTH AT A TIME)

Here’s where the magic really comes in. When your child loses a tooth, it’s not just a milestone—it’s a memory in the making. With our Tooth Fairy Letter on Kindness, you can use that moment to reinforce their growth not just physically, but emotionally.

The letter includes a beautifully written poem that celebrates kindness in a way that feels magical, not preachy. Paired with a Tooth Fairy Receipt featuring a personal note, this moment becomes a keepsake you can revisit again and again.

And if you’re using our Tooth Fairy Log Book, you’re not just collecting teeth—you’re capturing values in action.

SIMPLE WAYS TO PRACTICE KINDNESS AT HOME

  • Kindness Jar: Add a note whenever someone does something kind in the family.

  • Secret Kind Deeds: Encourage kids to do something thoughtful for another family member without expecting recognition.

  • Three Kind Things Challenge: Ask your child to do three kind things before dinner and share what they chose.

BOOKS & RESOURCES TO REINFORCE KINDNESS

Reading together is a great way to spark conversations about kindness. Here are a few favorites:

  • Have You Filled a Bucket Today? by Carol McCloud

  • Be Kind by Pat Zietlow Miller

  • Each Kindness by Jacqueline Woodson

And of course, you can always revisit the Tooth Fairy Letter on Kindness anytime your child needs a little magical reminder of how powerful their kindness can be.

CLOSING

Kindness doesn’t require grand gestures. Most often, it shows up in the quiet, everyday choices our children make—and the conversations we nurture around those choices.

So the next time a tooth falls out, use that moment to remind your child that what makes them truly shine isn’t just their smile—it’s the way they treat the world around them.

Because kindness? It’s one tradition worth holding onto.

You can download the Tooth Fairy Kindness Poem for free here, or purchase the full Tooth Fairy Letter Kit to have all five virtues ready for when those special teeth wiggle free. It's a beautiful way to turn each lost tooth into an opportunity for growth, connection, and a little extra magic.

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